Helltime at Highnoon Day

The crimson chin and the quivering quim

“Der er kommunister i lysthuset” I’ve heard is danish for “there are communists in the funhouse”, a colloquial saying regarding a woman’s monthly disregard for my sexual needs..The only time I’d actually want to hear this saying is if it was literal. Like Kim Jong un was lolling about in a real funhouse.. I’m sure he’d look cute and harmless. That face is so chubbolicious…he should smile more :)

I’ll be able to reinact all of my favourite parts from the movie!

I’ll be able to reinact all of my favourite parts from the movie!

Requiem for a Creme

The funniest trick I ever pulled on april fools day was letting myself believe for a split second that I wasnt a worthless piece of trash..That was ruined when I realised I had devoured 6 creme eggs in as many minutes, while murdering Justin Timberlake’s angelic songs and remembering I had no friends to trick anyway. What better way to mark a day of laughter and friendship with hollow foil shells of despair attacked by slurred descriptions of a males formal attire and all together floating on a mixture of my own piss shit and tears.

I threw a raw egg at my mums nose this morning, then swiftly I told my brother that his music sounded like a piss dribbling down the back of lots of sweaty knee, then I ran to punch my neighbours door down to call him “a cool” only to immediately retract the statement and kick his daughter in her soft naive head.
I am a Rebel without a pause

How can same-sex marriage not be a thing with such great results?

How can same-sex marriage not be a thing with such great results?

I hate tumblr. My flatmate promised it was a cool place to share funny, interesting things. But nobody seems to be talking about Harry Enfield at all…

I know we’ve all heard alot about the moon landings (AKA that movie Stanley Kubrick filmed) but what about those eternal words uttered by Neil Armstrong? A little birdy told me it wasnt such a small step for a man. In fact it was the biggest step of his life. To finally overcome his mothers restraining paternal words “The skys the limit!”
Thats one small step for man and one giant fuck you to an unsupportive parent.

The only reason I joined match.com was for the pussy. But all I got was messages about being “totes misogynistic” and “completely didnt understand women”. I dont get the first one but if I didnt understand women why would I know about these ovaries of yours? Huh? Hows that for eggnorant?

Peace

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